I’ve been a lot of things in my life:
I’ve been happy and sad, successful and a total failure. I’ve been popular and shunned, I’ve been responsible and completely irresponsible, fast and and slow, dull and glowing. I’ve been a mailman, a stage worker, a musician, a caretaker, a janitor, a manager, a traveler, a friend.
I’ve been celebrated and forgotten.
I have been creative and numb, emotional and outgoing, a recluse and a hand shaker, a winner and a loser. I have been kind and I have been mean. I have been heartless, fearless, useless,topless…I have never been homeless…but I fear the time has come to try that as well…
When your expenses outweighs your income and you live with a chronically ill person, in America this is what happens… This country apparently feels that it’s OK if people lose everything because they are sick. It’s a small price to pay for Capitalism, I guess.
I have tried every avenue I know of to keep us afloat, but it seems we have reached the end of this…we’re just treading water, not going anywhere but slowly down.
Neuroborreliosis (Lyme) is a slow killer. It takes everything away from you and it drowns you slowly and painfully. As a spouse, mother, brother, friend, whatever you may be…it is incredibly painful to watch and not be able to do anything. Unless you are lucky enough to not have to worry about money, it will consume every aspect of your life, as it has ours.
I am truly at a loss of what to do right now and it scares me. We have so little already…all we have is our home and if we lose it, I just don’t know how we can move forward?
And here’s the part where everyone goes; “Well, why don’t you move back to Sweden? They have free healthcare, don’t they?”
Well, yes, Sweden has socialized healthcare and in many aspects it is awesome. BUT; there is no help to get for people living with late stage neuroborreliosis in Sweden either. If you suffer from this “over there”, you have to find help elsewhere…
So no matter which way you turn, your ass is always in the back, if you know what I mean.
Now, I have a week to figure things out.
Any bright ideas, anyone?
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